Eternity
by Corianin
Summary: Bella's thoughts and memories on the first century of her immortality. One-shot.


Author's Notes: This was a little one-shot I wrote after a friend mentioned that someone had posted a challenge about what the first hundred years would be like for Bella after she turned. I don't know where the prompt was or anything, but the idea crawled into my brain and I wrote this at lunch yesterday in between bites of chicken nuggets and swallows of Mountain Dew. I thought I'd take a sec to post it while I thought about it, or else it would end up sitting in my notebook forever like most of my other stories.

On a totally unrelated note, I've finally decided to put some of my original fiction out for public view. This is the first time I have ever done it, since usually I'm tighter with my original work than Scrooge is with a penny, but I figured if I ever want to get published, I have to start somewhere. So if anyone is interested, go to webook dot com, and search members for (shockingly enough) Corianin. The book is called WolfShape; it's been my baby for the last eight months or so, and I'm finally getting it typed and formatted and posted. I've got the first two chapters up right now, with more to come as I get them set to my satisfaction.

Anyway, onward to Eternity...

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I thought about eternity today. You know, I never thought much about living forever. I mean, I suppose I did, in that odd, abstract way we all do. Never growing old, never dying. Infinite time to do what you choose. But I never really contemplated it on a serious level. I don't think as humans we can understand the enormity of it.

Charlie's death was hard. If I had been able to cry, I don't think I would have been able to stop. The funeral was nice. The entire town showed up, as well as people from neighboring towns. It was raining, like it always is, but this time it felt right. I shudder to think that, without Renesme's abilities, I would have had to miss it. I mean, how would I explain my appearance otherwise? Nearly thirty years had passed since our family had left Forks, and there would have been no way to rationalize the fact that none of us looked a day older. But my wonderful little girl and her illusions saved the moment, and I was able to say my goodbyes to him. I spend long hours whenever I can sitting at his grave, telling him about everything. All of the things I couldn't say when he was alive come out. I don't need to protect him anymore. I think he understands.

Mom couldn't make it to the service. She hadn't done a lot of traveling since the plane crash that cost her Phil and her eyesight. In a way, I think the easiest thing about losing her was not worrying anymore. I was there with her when her oncologist called, when she got the news. I convinced her to spend her last months with us. By this time we were in a small town in Idaho, and though she grumbled constantly about the lack of decent sun, I know she was happy there. My family was wonderful about everything. Jasper would sit with her while she was awake sometimes, letting her enjoy her time left without being afraid. And when the pain finally got to be too much, when it was time, Carlisle made sure she went peacefully. My best memories of her last months were when Nessie and Jake would bring the kids in. She lit up like a Christmas tree when she heard their voices, and though she would never know what they looked like, I knew it didn't matter. I remember coming in to see Katie leaning on one arm and Nate on the other while she regaled them with stories of my childhood. They loved hearing that their grandmother was a klutz. Sometimes I would sit in the corner while she slept, letting my memories flow over me. It was good when she passed. Now she's got eternal sunlight, and Phil. I hope she understands that it will be a long time before I join her. A very long time.

The Volturi have kept their distance. Mostly. Occasionally Alice will let us know that the Italian clan are "stopping by for a visit." It took them a while to realize that we were absolutely no threat unless threatened. They haven't tried to meddle, but sometimes I see calculating looks, and I wonder how long the uneasy truce will last. They seem most interested in the children. I don't believe there have ever been any more unusually hybrid people running around the globe, and the Volturi are fascinated. I'm sure they wonder how much strength, how many new abilities our brood has, being a mix of human, vampire, and werewolf. I'm also sure that if they thought it would be easy they would have no problems coercing or abducting Katie and Jake. However, they know that they'll have to get through all of us - the Cullen clan, the La Push pack, and all of the many allies we've gathered over these decades past - and that is something they really don't want to do. So we rest with one eye open and they watch for our weakness. It's not a comforting arrangement, but far better than any alternative I can think of.

Still, it hasn't all been loss and caution and hardship. I have two wonderful grandchildren, and Edward and I spoil them at every opportunity. They haven't been children for a while, but that's not important. Katie wanted to be a doctor, and we were so very proud when she graduated valedictorian. Now she's got her home in a small town outside of Vancouver BC, and she's made a name for herself as the most brilliant surgeon in western Canada. Carlisle hasn't stopped grinning yet. Thank heavens she inherited her mother's gift for spinning illusions. She can stay there much longer than she would be able to otherwise. Nessie tells us there are rumors she'll be bringing someone with her for Christmas next month. Edward has been practicing his threatening stare. I asked him why he didn't just buy a shotgun and wait on Carlisle and Esme's porch until they showed up. I meant it as a joke. He's still thinking it over.

Nate has also made a name for himself. He's one of the most well-respected archaeologists on the planet. Alice keeps us up to date on where he is when he's in places too remote to send correspondence. He comes home to visit whenever he can. In fact, if it weren't for him, we'd have never thought of our refuge. I can't believe it took so long for someone to point out that, thanks to our rather unlimited cash flow, we could set up a wildlife preserve on hundreds of thousands of acres and have a permanent home for as long as we wanted. Jake and Nessie love taking care of the place. It's enormous, covering a large chunk of both Dakota states, and is perfect for both the pack and us. I don't think Jake's been back to La Push since Billy died, and I understand. But he and Nessie have found their own personal paradise, and I couldn't be happier for them. Plus, it is nice to have somewhere to come home to when Edward and I need a break from the human world.

My daughter and my friend. Even now, even after so many years, I still think back to everything that happened to get us to this point and shake my head in wonder. After I was able to adjust to the idea that Jake was hers now, and Nessie his, it was the most calming, comforting feeling I've ever known. He and I are still very close. We go running together sometimes. Once we ran from South Dakota to Oklahoma just for fun. I love him dearly, and I am so glad that the pain between us has healed. He is so entirely devoted to Renesme, and she to him, that sometimes Edward and I just sit and watch them, soaking it up and being happy. Jake and Jasper hit it off very well during Nessie's childhood years. I was ecstatic. Jasper has become such a wonderful friend to me, and it was nice to know that he and Jake shared a similar bond. In fact, the entire pack has integrated so well with all of the Cullen family, and it's not unusual to find all of us out in a thunderstorm playing baseball, or racing through the preserve hunting. The pack is growing as well. About ten years ago Seth imprinted on a lovely girl from Tokyo and they are blissfully happy. Her name is Ichiko, she has a natural mental shield similar to mine, and she was studying to be a chess Grand Master. Now she just plays for fun. She and Edward can spend hours on one game. They are well matched in skill, and since he can't read her mind any easier than he can read mine unless I let him, it's a fair game. Rose jokes that it's the first time since he was turned that Edward has had a challenge.

Rose and Emmett are gallivanting around Taiwan last we heard. They'll be home for the holidays, though, and it'll be nice to catch up. Since Edward and I decided to tour the globe this past year, we haven't had as much contact with everyone as we usually do. Alice and Jasper had settled in Italy for a while. They'd just been there to relax and vacation, since Jasper is fascinated with Rome - who would have thought? - but after rescuing a baby from a train wreck they decided to stay on. They're due in any day now, and we're all eager to see the little one. I don't think it has ever been done, vampires raising a human child to adulthood, but if anyone can do it, it would be the two of them. I think it's given Esme ideas, though, judging by the calculating look in her sweet features when Carlisle mentioned that the hospital had just put a plan into effect to support an orphanage on campus. Alice and I chuckle constantly about it.

As for Carlisle and Esme, I don't think they ever change. Esme still runs a home like she was born to do it, while Carlisle performs his medical marvels and causes libido-induced mishaps among the female contingent at the local hospital. After knowing him for all these decades, I have come to the conclusion that he honestly doesn't know just how mouth-wateringly attractive he is, especially to the human populous. Esme and I laugh about it. She's become my mother and my close friend over this past century, and I don't know what I would have done without her. Many a time, especially after Charlie and later, Mom, I would find myself sitting in her kitchen pouring out my feelings, my confusion. She always listens, and never judges. She's a remarkable woman.

And Edward. My Edward. Not a day goes by that I don't realize how lucky I am to have him. My best friend, my lover, my creator, my life, the father of my daughter, and the most amazing man I have ever met. It's been almost one hundred years since I was turned, and he has been by my side for every moment of it. We watched our daughter grow into a beautiful woman. When I saw his face as he walked her down the aisle to Jake, I would swear if he could have burst with pride he would have. Watching him and Jake pace the floor while Carlisle and Rose were with Nessie helping her deliver, his beautiful profile highlighted by the afternoon sun streaming in through Esme's living room windows, I fell in love with him all over again. And seeing him with our daughter afterward, staring with him in awe at the new babies in her arms, it was indescribable. I love watching him. In fact, I think that's become my addiction for the rest of my life. Everything he does, from hunting to playing the piano, arm-wrestling Emmett or racing Alice - he is so gorgeous it hurts me sometimes to see. But it's a good pain, a sweet one, and I revel in it. His embrace still thrills me as much as it did when I was still human - more so now, now that I've had these years to learn what a miraculous man he is. How did I ever get so lucky? I know I don't deserve this, all of this happiness. But I have a very long time to earn it.

I thought about eternity today. And it sounds...well, just about perfect.


End file.
